Call center.
Dear valued customers,
Congratulations. After 20 years, you have effectively developed our ‘85 model that has no option for failure.
During the yearly model checkup, we discovered that your dissatisfaction with our product is because said model has participated in the following to no avail:
baking “artisan” cakes: best saved for special occasions because mass market sampling would be a disaster!
make up artistry: ROI will be in 5-10 years. Unfortunately, the model you created requires food, and lots of it. You should have chosen the machine option. Anyway, said model cannot survive with “starving artist” income.
We respectfully disagree with your request for a new model. Your model is approaching vintage status, which will increase its value tenfold. You may regard this as a curse or a blessing, but in order to achieve harmony with your model, we must find a way to utilize the perfectionism mode for every party’s benefit. The model has made suggestions, but we, the Company, shall personally oversee this process for your complete satisfaction.
Questions about this process can be directed to the Director of Consumer Relations, available at xxx-xxx , 9 am to 5 pm, Pacific Standard Time.
We thank you for over two decades of satisfaction with our model and trust in our expertise.
Best wishes, Customer Service Representive The Company
