inedible passions. tasty little braindump.

I like the term. It feels like a negation. Empty space.

Thus, bullet points (on the side of long-ish) on why I prefer to keep it that way:

- You know how you can leave a cat locked up in a house alone as long as you leave them food? Well, did you know you can do that to 4 year olds as well? I spent a lot of my “formative” years locked up at home, with food in the kitchen (or in my belly) while my caretaker makes the neighbourhood “gossip patrol” rounds and my parents worked double-overtime to make ends meet. Thus, being emotionally attached to parents or parent-figures was also fairly null, as I spent more time by myself or in front of the telly to feel attached to people.

- I preferred toy bears (and animals) to toy babies throughout my childhood. In fact, baby dolls frightened me when I was growing up. Twenty or so odd years later, I still find them fcking scary.

- Parental bullying by reinforcing their “ownership” of your soul by virtue of bringing you into the world:

“You are my flesh and blood, now do as I say.”

“As long as you’re living under this roof, you do as I say.” (and some folks refuse to leave the nest?)

“You will take care of me when I get old.” (excuse me? I have no say in the matter?)

- The thought of getting knocked up fills me up with dread, even when I am at the acceptable age for child-rearing.

- I find that it is easy for males to be pro-child, because…newsflash!…the baby isn’t depending totally on the male for nourishment. It’s easy to take the backseat and enjoy the baby benefits from a relative distance, i.e. it’s not chewing your gddamn nipple off.

- I can haz poor genetics.

- Children are so impressionable. That’s why it’s so easy to fuck them up without you being conscious of it. So much responsibility…and even if you set aside 18 or so years to rear the child, adopted or otherwise, there’s so much room for error, and you will pay for your mistakes. Oh yes.

- Taking care of a dog/cat is like 1/8 of the price of bringing a child fully to term (of 18 years or older). Plus, unlike human offspring, “if [dogs/cats] get pregnant, you can sell their children.”

- I am a people pleaser, and I am afraid that I will acquiesce to children if it was the wish of my partner. But I know that I have no inclination to have children, and it makes me feel frustrated and ambivalent. Not that I am afraid to be alone, but does the children issue have to be a dealbreaker in a relationship at all? (not that it is, I rambles.)

My thoughts on the matter. Phew.